I’m glad 2018 is over and here’s why…

My 2018 was a BITCH! And if I said otherwise I’d be lying. I went through the most. It’s like the older you get, the tougher you should be. This was not the way I had envisioned my year to end. I must admit though, it taught me the best lessons.
Emotionally, I was a wreck. My anxiety literally stopped me from living. I Felt like a zombie. Instead of things getting better I’d actually feel like I’m sinking even deeper. It used to help to talk about these feelings and writing about them. My mind was just not into this whole adulting thing.
My anxiety played a huge role in this. I could have done a lot better if my mind was up for it.
Here’s a why I’m glad 2018 is over…
I couldn’t blog!

Nothing worried me most than knowing how much I love blogging and I just couldn’t think of anything to write about. I’ve written maybe 3 to 4 posts this whole year! That’s one month’s number of blog posts for real bloggers! It didn’t bother me that my followers weren’t growing anymore or if I was losing any of them. Not posting on my blog, however, made me feel sad and somewhat like a failure.

I gained a lot of weight.

I had some belly fat the previous year and it didn’t bother me that much. I ate a lot this year because that’s what I do when I’m stressed. So, hello size 36! I’m working out maybe 2-3 days a week when I manage to get out of bed and move around.

I was dead broke.

I couldn’t get a job, I didn’t even understand why because I was trying my best. I got a few opportunities but my emotions couldn’t handle them. Thank God I learned to crochet and started a business from it

My son got into a car accident.

When this happened I swore I was cursed to suffer! I’m so grateful he is alive and healthy.
This was so much traumatic on me but I had no choice but to be strong for him.

This was probably a really depressing blog post, so I also compiled a list of things I learnt through my ‘blessing in desguise’ year of 2018.😊

 

See you all next year! 💜💃

 

 

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15 Comments Add yours

  1. Her Majesty says:

    I missed you onthe blogsphere even when I hadn’t been all that active as well. I definitely agree that 2018 was so awful I transitioned from a vulnerable anxious state to a numbness I could not shake. I don’t feel as unsure about posting another lone post about 2018. I hope this upcoming year will bring you more joy.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Siphosetu says:

      I missed you too sweets. I hope this upcoming year is going to bring both of us so much joy!😚

      Liked by 1 person

  2. losegainmore says:

    Tomorrow you will have another opportunity to start fresh! I pray that you’re next year is much better than your current and that God really blows your mind and floods you with blessings!!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Siphosetu says:

      Thank you so much. I feel like it’s going to be a great year ahead too. 😊

      Like

  3. hinthec says:

    I’m so sorry to hear you had such a rough year and I admire you sharing these truths in your post. Wishing you a far better year in 2019!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Siphosetu says:

      Aw 😊 thank you. I feel like it was necessary.

      Like

  4. Elizabeth says:

    I so appreciate your honesty. We all need to support each other through all our struggles. Feel free to write about how hard it can be to write. Even that can be encouraging when we hit the same spot.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Siphosetu says:

      thank you Elizabeth for your kind words and taking the time to read. I have tried writing about it. I wrote one post on Anxiety and writer’s block. It did help at that time and your comments were very warm and supportive. 😊

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Elizabeth says:

        I am glad. We don’t have to fake it when we blog.

        Like

  5. daninmaya says:

    Best wishes. Thanks for sharing. Dark clouds and storms eventually blow over,…I hope. Sometimes writing poems just stops for me. I try to keep the faith. It will return…..hope for you too.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Siphosetu says:

      I know it will. thank you 😊

      Liked by 1 person

  6. AsSeenbyMusa says:

    May 2019 be kind to you, and may you be kind to yourself as well. You went through all that and you’re still standing. You’ve got this!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Siphosetu says:

      Thank you Musa love. 😊💜

      Like

  7. mwende says:

    I missed you Sethu!
    Sorry for the hard year..my 2017 was the same as what you’ve described. Full of crippling anxiety and bad situations after worse ones.
    This made me purpose that in 2018 it was either I moved to a more functional space inside myself or this life wouldn’t worth it.
    And that’s exactly what happened in 2018- through therapy full of rawness, vulnerability and intense emotions as I healed.
    And that’s what I wish for you in 2019..healing. Its hard. Really hard. But by the end of it, you find a lighter, freer, happier and functional being.

    I’m sending you lots of love and hugs. May 2019 be good to you.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Siphosetu says:

      So lovely! I missed you too. 😊 hopefully things will straighten up this year. Wishing you peace and joy 💜🌼

      Liked by 1 person

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