Many things I need to say incase I leave you

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Each time I’m tempted to call or text you, because I miss you, I remember all those times I let you win and forgave you even when did not deserve it. 

Trying to catch every teardrop that escapes my eyes with my eyelid so strangers don’t catch me crying. I’ve been so strong since that night and told myself I wouldn’t call you first, I wouldn’t text or even visit first. I keep wondering if you miss me as much. I wonder if you would ever swallow your pride and be honest with yourself and not blame me for your mistakes, all those times you claimed I was the reason beh

hind every flirt; you claimed I was too serious and for every meet-up you claimed I invaded your space, fot every break you took you claimed I was too controlling and you needed time off. 

even though I would keep quiet and try to fix every flaw I had just to keep you I was also dying inside. Love died a slow painful death in my heart when neither of any of the things I did worked. I then realised that I could never make you happy or change you.
 I made a mistake and am sorry for letting you believe that you were right for every accusation and every insult and complaint you put forward. I am sorry to have let you believe that you could lie to someone a lot of times and when they forgave you you would play happy families over again. I am sorry to make you believe that you it was ok to cheat, get caught as long as you still showed me that I was still the number 1 forever person and everyone else who followed was just a hit and run.

 I should have let you know how much I hated it and even though I loved you and probably would until my death I still hurt to be lied to but most importantly to be made to think you’re not worthy of real love. I should have told you boldly that I fucken loved you but I was not going to stay and let you rip my veins off. Maybe you loved me and maybe I forgave you everytime you made a ‘man’s mistake’ but I am not like that anymore! maybe I shouldnt even be writing this on social media  for everyone to know but it is the only way I find healing. I am now stronger and happier, with every teardrop tha falls.

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