I found closure visiting my former high school

Today I visited my former high school. I had been dreading to for many years and this time I had no choice but to go as I needed a testimonial for a job. 

As I’m heading towards the end of my internship, I applied to a few retail stores for jobs that could help me earn an income when I have nothing to do. I didn’t want the feeling of being stuck at home feeling sorry for myself.

I need some money to be able to live by. I have a son and at 24 I should be earning something, It has always been my plan to be financially independent at this stage of my life.

The reason for not wanting to ever go back to my highschool was not just the many questions that my teachers would ask when I get there, but the disappointment I thought they would get when they hear me say unfortunately I didn’t do well in Engineering, or Chemistry. I was so sure they would think I lost focus.

As a pupil at David Mama Seniour Secondary School, I was the smartest in my grade, I thought Id be the 2nd Einstein and maybe invent something new. I lived Maths and Science was like my breathing Oxygen. I knew what I wanted to be and what I would study at University. I had the world in my fingertips. I could be anyone and anything.

Things took a spine-chilling turn for me. I had no financial aid and had not worried about getting one as I immaturely imagined a bursary would fall on my hands, miraculously. With such great matric results, They had no choice but to take me. 

Now I had to endure mechanics classes that I couldn’t even understand. I worried about everything but more than anything; my disappointed mom’s face. 

I fumbled and struggled until I decided to come back home, studied Journalism at a local University and even though there were still challenges, this time I knew what to and not to do.

This morning reminded me of all the suffering and how I tried to figure things out and getting myself out of a scary experience on my own in a foreign world.

How I had thought, because things were easy in high school, they’d be even easier in University and the outside world. I wish someone told me about the importance of taking a course I loved rather than one I was just good at.

I wish I could tell the youngsters about my own sufferings, so they don’t face the same challenges. It helps to be informed.

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3 Comments Add yours

  1. Diana says:

    I am glad that you found closure through the visit.I get what you mean about the choice of subjects. There are so many things that I also wish I knew when I was younger. All the best in all you do.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. This post somehow related to me.How I am struggling to finance my masters because everything seemed to be easy in the past!Hard being financially independent!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Siphosetu says:

      Well financial independence can be a good thing, maybe I see it that way because I’m not there yet. It may have its ups and downs, but I would love to see myself at your position soon. That’s how we grow…

      Like

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