Finding my lost self

I have imagined this day in my mind before,

But never really thought it would ever come,

I’ve cried and laughed

I’ve walked away and returned again

Each walk away felt like giving up

On something I’ve worked so hard at building

Like it was a part of me
How do you get so attached, so fused to something that it actually hurts as you try and separate?

But staying hurt more,

It guaranteed the continuous flow of cries, triggered by repetitive hurts

And now standing strong at the door

So close to the outside

All that I’m leaving behind, the past, 

looked so familiar and felt so comfortable. 

I can’t stand it anymore

But I’m used to it, 

I want out, I want in

I want life but this is all the life I’ve known. 
Free, Grown and Happy

These words so close to my face I can almost touch them. 

This is all I want to feel.

But so scared of change, will I survive the scary future ahead? 
Will I find myself again or will I lose myself to familiarity? 

If I take a step out, will I fall or will the air pull me up to a fly?
 

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2 Comments Add yours

  1. abostar says:

    This sounds like me….always contemplating walking away yet I’m still here😕😕

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Siphosetu says:

      It is like that, but what I also found is that you dont have to go away to find your true self, you can still do it all in your mind.

      Liked by 1 person

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